Irkalla Island
by Ellipsis the Great
Summary: The Straw Hats are forced to leave their chef behind on an island after breaking an ancient artifact…when they return, they find that their chef may not be their chef, anymore…future ZoSan.
1. Prologue

_**Irkalla Island**_

_**By**__: Ellipsis the Great_

_**DISCLAIMER:**__ One Piece and everything affiliated with it belongs to Eiichiro Oda Shonen Jump, etc. All I own is the plot…_

_**Summary:**__ The Straw Hats are forced to leave their chef behind on an island after breaking an ancient artifact…when they return, they find that their chef may not be their chef, anymore…future ZoSan.  
_

_**Rated:**__ M._

_**Warnings:**__ Angst, mentions of torture and non-con, slash (in the distant future). More warnings later if needed._

**Prologue**: Imprisonment

Sanji was cold.

His entire body shook, and he wished desperately that there was some sort of bed in the room—anything to let him stop sitting on the hard, wet concrete floor.

His stomach growled, but he could ignore the feeling of hunger. He had become accustomed to it back on that island, and it had been easy to slip back into the mindset of a starving kid. Easier, even, since they usually fed him at least once a day.

No, he was more concerned with the cold. He should have died of hypothermia already, but whenever he tried to go to sleep one of the guards would prod him awake, or they would take him out of his cell and to a warm room until he had warmed up again. He wondered vaguely if he had frost bite anywhere. He didn't think so…

He could hardly open his eyes, not that it would have mattered. There were no windows or lights, so he couldn't see anything. He could just hear water dripping in a corner of the room, and the sound of some sort of creepy crawly things scuttling around. Luckily none of them seemed too interested in him.

The cell door opened suddenly, a harsh, grating sound that made him raise his hands and cover his ears. The light burned his eyes, so he squeezed them tightly shut.

On instinct he fought against the hands that suddenly grabbed his elbows and wrenched him to his feet, but he had become too weak over the past months to put up much of a struggle. Before they had even left his cell he had sagged forward, so the snickering guards had to drag him out.

When the men continued dragging him past the Warm Room he carefully, curiously creaked his eyes open, squinting as they adjusted to the light. But all he could see was stone. Stone, stone, stone, some light, and three pairs of feet. And more stone. He couldn't gather up the strength to raise his head and look at the walls.

He wasn't sure he cared.

Then they came to another room. It was slightly warmer than his cell, but not quite as warm as the Warm Room, and filled with people. The guards stopped him right at the entrance, and for a while it seemed he was just there for people to stare at him.

Then, slowly, he heard a singly pair of dainty footsteps. A silken slipper appeared in front of his face, quickly concealed by an elaborately decorated dress. A hand grabbed his chin delicately and raised his head upward, so that his eyes met with the those of the Queen of Irkalla Island. They were even colder than his cell had been, and blacker than Zoro's ever were.

"Sanji." She greeted him with a warmth that belied the iciness of her eyes. Then she stared at him for a moment as if searching for something in his eyes. It seemed she didn't find it as she spoke again, saying, "Your friends have been gone for a very long time. I don't think they're coming back for you."

So this was her game, today.

"They'll come back." He said, somehow with the same confidence he'd had during the first day of his imprisonment. God, how long ago had that been?

She laughed mirthlessly. "The people are restless. They want you to be punished for the crimes of your little friends, who would dare not return after committing such an egregious crime. I agree. I wanted to hang you." She said, using the same tone she might have used when telling him she wanted to buy a new curtain. "But my priest talked me out of it."

"Did he?" He asked, voice rasping. The glint in her eyes made her think he should be cursing the priest, and he felt a shiver go up his spine as he wondered what was in store for him now that hanging had been crossed off the list.

"Yes. He said I shouldn't take your life, but rather…your livelihood." She said. Then she smiled ambiguously at him and, without saying another word, released his head and walked away.

His head dropped and he stared at the floor, trying to puzzle out what she had meant. She hadn't let him cook since he'd been arrested. What else could she possibly—

Somehow he managed to raise his head by himself as they began moving again, and his eyes came to rest on a chair situated in the center of the room. There were straps all over it, and beside it stood a gargantuan man holding a menacing looking axe. One of the guards grabbed his wrist, and with sudden clarity he realized what she had meant.

"God, no!" He cried, and threw himself back with more strength than he would have credited himself with, nearly breaking out of the guards' grips.

But he didn't, and they eventually pushed him into the chair, strapping him down. He continued to struggle (though everyone in the room knew he was nowhere near strong enough to be able to break out of the bonds), and heard people begin to laugh at his feeble efforts. Once again he shut his eyes tight, but one of the guards grabbed his head and forced them open so that he would have to look down at what was about to happen.

The man beside him raised the axe, and he heard the people begin to jeer and shout for the man to get on with it.

And then Sanji's right hand disappeared behind the axe blade.

TBC...

_Irkalla, because I'm obsessed with names and such, is the Akkadian/Sumerian version of hell. Also, the queen's name, which you'll officially learn in the next chapter, is 'Aroha,' meaning 'mercy, pity, compassion;' her priest's name is 'Pio,' meaning 'pious' (my love of irony is going to get me in trouble, one of these days)._

_I got the idea sorta-kinda from a book called 'The Queen of Attolia' by Megan Whalen Turner. I definitely recommend it—it's the second book in a trilogy that will soon actually be a four-part series._


	2. Cruel and Unusual Punishment

_**Irkalla Island**_

_**By**__: Ellipsis the Great_

_**DISCLAIMER:**__ One Piece and everything affiliated with it belongs to Eiichiro Oda Shonen Jump, etc. All I own is the plot…_

_**Summary: **__The Straw Hats are forced to leave their chef behind on an island after breaking an ancient artifact…when they return, they find that their chef may not be their chef, anymore…future ZoSan._

_**Rated: **__M._

_**Warnings: **__Angst, mentions of torture and non-con, slash (in the distant future). More warnings later if needed._

**Chapter One**: Cruel and Unusual Punishment

_Five Months Earlier_

Sanji wasn't sure what exactly it was that Luffy had broken, but it quickly became clear that the islanders considered it beyond priceless.

They had been rounded up and herded to the prison, and kept there until Queen Aroha saw fit to try them the next day. It had been decided that they would be sent on a quest to retrieve another, similar artifact to the one that had been broken. And she had insisted that someone be left behind as collateral.

Almost everyone had volunteered, but the queen had zeroed in on Sanji and insisted that he be the one left behind. Her logic was that Sanji, as the crew's chef, was vital and not easy to replace (not that Luffy would have replaced any of them), and thus they would be more likely to come back for him than, say, Zoro—who had no clear position on the ship besides 'meat shield.'

Sanji had puzzled over it a little, at first. After all, a shipwright was just as important to a ship as a cook, so why not take Franky? Or Chopper, the doctor? But, then, there were other people on the ship capable of cooking (even if their food was pretty shitty or wildly overpriced), so perhaps he _was_ the best choice, in the end.

It wasn't until after the Sunny had hesitantly disappeared on the horizon that he discovered her true motive for keeping him.

The queen had many…well, she called them 'toys' or 'pets.' Men (and a few women) whom she had 'collected' to…take care of her at her leisure. And he had, at first—he hadn't really thought of sex as a punishment, back then. Especially not when it was sex with such a beautiful woman.

Then things got weird. She started cutting him, and tying him up and…and any other number of things that had long since been on his list of sexual kinks NOT to try (and a few to which he would have preferred to stay oblivious).

Eventually, though, his harsh living conditions (both in and out of the bedroom) had taken their toll, and she had thrown him down into the prison with other toys she could no longer use (almost all of her toys were 'criminals,' although their crimes ranged from his breaking a sacred artifact to someone who had stolen a loaf of bread. Sanji wondered if she fabricated crimes just to get new pets).

And that was where he had stayed until…until…

(PAGEBREAK-SCHWAAAAAAAAN!)

_Present Day_

He screamed—or tried to scream, at least—as a red-hot iron was pressed against the bloody stump on his left arm, cauterizing the wound.

"Check 'is other wounds, too. 'Er Majesty don't want 'im gettin' sick." A cackling, sarcastic voice beside him said.

"Should let the poor bastard die. Innit obvious those 'friends' of his ain't coming back?" Asked a gruff voice near his head as someone forced open his right eye and shined a light into it.

"You don't think 'e should suffer for what they did?"

"I think he's suffered enough already. Just go on with it and let him die."

"No." Sanji managed to groan. "No, no, no."

"What? What's that? Is 'e talkin'?" The first voice asked.

"They'll come back for me. They'll…they'll come back." He rasped out. "They need me…"

"They don't have no use for you anymore, do they?" The second voice asked, a hint of sympathy coloring it. "Her Majesty's seen to that."

"Watch yer mouth or she'll cut yer tongue out, next!" The first voice warned. "'Sides, all we can do's follow orders. Fix 'im up, send 'im back to the dungeons. It'll be up to 'is friends what 'appens to 'im if they come back for 'im, and it'll up to 'Er Majesty if they don't. None of our business."

The second voice grunted, and returned to cleaning the myriad of wounds Sanji had received at various times and from various sources.

"Never wanted this to happen. Never did. She went too far…"

"For God's sake, man, watch yer mouth!"

(PAGEBREAK-SCHWAAAAAAAAN!)

Two Weeks Later

Sanji…did _not_ want to leave.

Well, he did. But he didn't want to face his crew. They would leave him behind, anyhow, once they saw how useless he was.

How could he face the wonderful Miss Nami, or the lovely Miss Robin? He was dirty…ragged-looking…his hair was a bird's nest, his body in shambles…he wouldn't be able to make them treats anymore…wouldn't be able to make them _anything_, anymore…

What about everyone else? God, how would he ever be able to look Luffy or Zoro in the eye again? They wouldn't stand for someone so weak to be a member of their crew!

And when Chopper treated him, what would he think? How dirty, how filthy, how _disgusting_, after everything that woman and her guards had put him through!

And now…now not only was he weak and disgusting…now he was _useless_ to them! He couldn't fight, couldn't cook…couldn't do _anything_ but be a _deadweight_.

He made his guards drag him again. No way he was going to willingly meet them. He wanted to see them again, but…how could he? It was simple:

He _couldn't_.

He kept his head down as they entered the throne room behind the Queen's throne.

"Ah, here he is." Queen Aroha said in that maliciously honeyed voice of hers, although she didn't look back. "Come here, Sanji."

He didn't do anything except tuck his arms behind his back, not that it did him any good—the guards just shoved him forward, forcing him to fall on his knees next to the Queen's throne. Though he kept his head bowed, he heard his (former?) crewmates gasp at the sight of him, and could see them try to step forward from beneath the fringe of his shaggy hair. They were stopped by the sound of bowstrings being pulled taut.

He cringed as the Queen reached over and pet his head like a favorite dog.

"Poor Sanji has trouble walking." She said, voice dripping with false sweetness. "We've had to cuff his ankles lately—for about half a month, now, actually."

"What are you talking about?" Nami demanded, her voice as tense as the guards' bows.

"Would you like to tell them, Sanji?" The Queen asked, and sneered when he wouldn't answer, her fingers curling cruelly into his hair and forcing his head up. "Tell them, Sanji. Go on, I'm sure they would _love_ to hear!"

He forced back a sob, squeezing his eyes shut and pursing his lips tightly shut.

"You seem to be under the impression that that was a _request_, my dear—rest assured: it wasn't." She said, as if she was grinding her teeth together as she spoke. "You don't even have to _say_ it. Just _show_ them." When he still refused to move, she shook him. "I said _show them_, Sanji!"

He shook his head, and felt a few tears make their way down his face.

"Stop talking to him like that!" Luffy said. "Sanji, talk to us! Tell us what's wrong! Did she hurt you? We'll kick her ass if she hurt you; just say the word!"

But the noisy, energetic captain was ignored by all but the guards, who made sure all of their bows were trained on him.

"Fine then." She said, lip curling up into a harsh sneer. Then, quite suddenly, her syrupy visage had returned as she looked to her other side (although she didn't release his hair). "Father Pio?"

"Yes, Milady?" The portly priest asked, although it was clear from his malevolently gleeful expression that he knew what she wanted.

"The box, please." She said.

"Gladly, Milady." Father Pio bowed grandly, then snapped at a page standing nearby who was holding a small wooden box. The page brought it to him and then scurried away as he opened it and presented it to Queen Aroha.

Still not releasing Sanji's head, Queen Aroha reached into the box, lifting a rotting severed hand up by its thumb.

"You wouldn't believe how difficult it is to handcuff someone who doesn't have any hands." She cackled, waving it in front of Sanji's face. "Isn't that right, Sanji?"

"You cut off his hands?" Luffy's voice was chillingly soft. "_You cut off Sanji's hands?_"

"You were gone for a very long time, you know, little Straw Hat." She said. "We were starting to worry that you had just abandoned poor Sanji here, so…" She shrugged, "Well, _someone_ had to be punished for your crimes. I wanted to just hang him and get it over with, but Father Pio convinced me that this was far more…suitable a punishment."

"You left him here to go chasing after your dreams." Father Pio said with a sinister grin. "So we took his dream away in exchange."

"You're lying! You're _lying_! You didn't…you _couldn't_…" Chopper cried.

"I could, dear, and I did." Queen Aroha smiled and finally released Sanji's hair. "You might as well show them, Sanji. Show them the fate they left you to suffer through all…by…_yourself_."

Shoulders sagging, he finally took his arms out from behind his back and held them up. The sleeves of his shirt and jacket had been lost at some point, leaving his arms bare, and although they had cleaned up most of his cuts they hadn't washed away the blood, which had gotten everywhere and dried, dirt clinging tightly to it. And at the top sat the messily cauterized stumps where his hands used to be, the wrist of his left hand still showing a bit (the axe-man, it seemed, had poor aim) and moving back and forth weakly.

"They took my hands." He heard his worn, scratchy voice croak out, followed by a short sob. "They…they cut off…my hands…"

"No…Sanji, no…" Usopp shook his head, not wanting to believe what he was seeing. "It's a lie, isn't it? There's no way…"

"I knew you'd come back…" Sanji said, tears running freely down his cheeks, now. "I knew you'd come back for me, but…there's no point, now…no point…"

"Of course there's a point!" Luffy said. "You're nakama!"

"I'm not your nakama, anymore!" He snapped, covering his eyes with his forearms. "I can't cook, and I can't fight…I'm _useless_, Luffy! And you can't—"

"If that's true, then we're useless, too!" Zoro interrupted furiously. "If we can't protect our nakama, we're even more useless than you are!"

He let out a loud, choked sound, still hiding his eyes with his arms. "Just _go_. I'm sorry I made you waste so much…so much _time_…but just…just go and…and fulfill your _dreams_…"

"I can't fulfill my dreams without my chef!" Luffy crossed his arms over his chest in that stubborn fashion they were all used to seeing. Then he dropped to the floor, sitting cross-legged. "If Sanji isn't leaving, then neither am I!"

Before the others could echo his sentiment, the queen began laughing again.

"You're all so very sweet." She said. "It's really quite…sickening. Don't you think, Father Pio?"

"Quite, Milady." The portly father said, leering at them.

"But if they want to stay…well, I don't suppose I can do much to stop them." She continued, and then leaned close to Sanji, whispering into his ear, "What do you think, Sanji? That swordsman, for example, looks like quite the catch, wouldn't you say? Perhaps I'll make him my next pet."

"Don't." His voice was so soft that even she, sitting right next to him, could hardly make out what he had said.

"Excuse me?" She asked.

"Don't you dare touch him!" He snarled, somehow whipping his legs around to wrap the chain around her neck with a sudden burst of strength that no one could have guessed he still had in him. "If you touch him I'll _kill_ you, you _bitch_!"

She gagged, obviously trying to say something, and all of the guards aimed their bows at Sanji.

"Don't!" Father Pio cried. "You'll hit Her Majesty!"

"Do whatever you want to me, but if you touch _any_ of them I'll fucking _kill you_!" Sanji shrieked, seeing red.

"Sanji, stop it!" Chopper exclaimed, tears soaking into his fur. "Stop!"

As if someone had flipped a switch, Sanji shuddered and went limp, dropping into a dead faint.

And after that, darkness was all he knew for a very long time.

TBC...


	3. Open Wounds

_**Irkalla Island**_

_**By**__: Ellipsis the Great_

_**DISCLAIMER:**__ One Piece and everything affiliated with it belongs to Eiichiro Oda Shonen Jump, etc. All I own is the plot…_

_**Summary: **__The Straw Hats are forced to leave their chef behind on an island after breaking an ancient artifact…when they return, they find that their chef may not be their chef, anymore…future ZoSan._

_**Rated: **__M._

_**Warnings: **__Angst, mentions of torture and non-con, slash (in the distant future). More warnings later if needed._

**Chapter Two**: Open Wounds

Although he was wide awake almost as soon as some amount of consciousness came back to him, he forced himself to 'wake' slowly.

Actually, he didn't have to force himself anymore. It had become a habit since he discovered that the guards usually talked in front of his cell and let on what was going to happen to him that day.

But today there was only silence, besides the sound of a few clinking jars and…and…was that the ocean? Why could he hear the ocean? Where was the sound of dripping water? Of scuttling bugs and grumbling guards?

"Sanji?" Came a soft, gentle voice near his ear. "Are you awake?"

His eyes snapped open at the familiar voice, but he had to blink furiously due to the brightness of the room. Then familiar faces came into focus, and he let out a frustrated whine, sitting up and pushing himself back in the bed (oh, God, a _bed_!) as he brought his throbbing, bandaged arms up to his chest.

"No! Leave me alone! Why can't you just leave me alone?" He shrieked, the words bursting from his lips in short, shaky bursts as he tried not to cry again.

"Sanji, calm down!" Fake Luffy's voice said. Because they _had_ to be fake, just like all of the other times this had happened. Fake, fake, fake. "It's us!"

"Stop it! Just _stop it_! I get it, okay? They aren't coming back for me! Just quit _doing this to me_! I can't…I _can't_…!"

"Sanji, it's _us_." Fake Chopper's voice said. "It's really us, I promise!"

"You always say that! _You always say that_!" He said, grabbing his hair in his hands—or trying to, anyway. He let out a choked sound as he was roughly, painfully reminded of his missing limbs. "You already took…_everything_…just leave me alone, _please_!" He voice dropped into a desolate whimper. "Don't hurt me anymore…please, please, please don't hurt me anymore…"

"We aren't going to hurt you, Sanji." Fake Nami was crying—rather convincingly, too. "What can we do to make you believe us?"

He just shook his head, rocking back and forth. "I will. I…I'll believe you, and then…and then you'll make me go see her again and I don't _want_ to see her again." He drooped forward. "I just want to go home. I want to go _home_."

"You _are_ home, Sanji." Fake Usopp tried to assure him. "You're on the Thousand Sunny again. You're _safe_."

He just shook his head and started doing the same thing he had done every other time this had happened—he recited the recipes of his crew's (_his_ crew, not this fake crew the queen had sent to torment him) favorite dishes. Today, he decided to recite in reverse alphabetical order. This, of course, meant that he started with Zoro's favorites; if only the burly, shit-headed swordsman could see him…hell, if only he could see the burly, shit-headed swordsman!

The only problem with this particular method of self-distraction, of course, was that it reminded him of cooking said recipes, which in turn reminded him of the fact that could no longer cook. The thought made him trail off, going limp so that the only reason he was still sitting up was that he was pressed up against the wall.

"Sanji?" Someone—the Nami look-alike, he thought—ventured hesitantly.

"I can't cook anymore." He rasped out on a whim. They couldn't do anything to him that they hadn't already done (except kill him, but he wasn't sure if that was a bad thing, anymore), so there was no reason to hold his silence…right? "What'll I do if I can't cook? I…I could cope with just one hand, maybe. Even if I had to do a handstand and cook with my feet, I'd figure something out. But I can't do _anything_ without _both_ of my hands. I can't cook…I can't_ fight_…" His lower lip trembled, and he gulped loudly to try and keep his tears at bay. "How do I tell my crew that I can't cook? How can I tell Luffy I can't make him meat, anymore? And I'll never be able to make treats for Robin and Nami again, or…or fight Zoro …"

Something—a sob, a hysterical laugh—burst out of his mouth from deep in his throat, and he had to clamp his lips shut for a moment and swallow hard to keep another from escaping. When he spoke again, his voice was a shaky whisper. "How can I look any of them in the eyes, now?"

"It doesn't matter!" Fake Luffy said desperately. "Why do you think you're still on that island? You're on the Thousand Sunny with your crew again! Stupid Sanji—snap out of it!"

"I don't think Mr. Cook is going to accept that we are who we say we are, right now." Fake Robin sighed sadly, rubbing her temple with her fingers as if she had a headache. "Perhaps if we talk to him about other things, he will come to realize it."

Fake Luffy scowled and huffed, crossing his arms over his chest and looking away with an expression on his face that said he would like nothing more than to shake Sanji until he believed what they were saying.

Fake Robin turned to Sanji, giving him that soft smile he remembered seeing often on the real Robin. "There were a few things I was curious about, Mr. Cook, if you would oblige me by answering."

Eyeing her suspiciously, Sanji gave a jerky nod of his head.

"First…" She considered for a moment. "I was wondering…how you were able to figure out that our predecessors were fakes. By your reactions, these…imitations were very well done, yes?"

He shrugged. "Sometimes you tell me…sometimes I figure it out…"

"How?"

He made an annoyed sound and waved his arm at nothing in particular, like he was trying to shoo the question away. "Your Zoro's always wrong."

"Our…Zoro?" Fake Usopp repeated slowly.

"Yes!" He said, frustrated by something he couldn't name. "First, he only had two swords—and who the hell knows how you made _that_ mistake, what with that overcompensating shit-head always having three—and then his hair was the wrong shade of green." He shuddered and shook his head, curling in on himself a little. "Then he wasn't abrasive enough, and then he was _too_ abrasive, and then he had a good sense of direction—for _fuck's_ sake, that idiot having a good sense of direction?—and, and…it's like you don't think I'll notice! But I always _do_."

"They made no mistakes with the rest of us, I take it?" Fake Nami arched an eyebrow at him.

"'Course they did." He scoffed. "Stupid assholes."

"But…you noticed Zoro?" Fake Luffy asked, scratching the top of his head. "But you hate Zoro, don't you, Sanji?"

"People usually know more about the person they hate than anybody else, don't they?" Sanji shrugged, his eyes fluttering wearily. "Besides…like, don't like…hate, love…it's all relative. I used to hate the shitty old man, too, but he's like a father to me, now." A pause. "Not that I'll ever…think of Zoro as a father, or anything…"

"You're tired, Sanji." Fake Chopper said, as if he was going to make everyone leave.

"No, no, I'm fine." He said. "The Robin doppelganger wanted to know 'a few things,' right? Go ahead and ask while I still know you're fake."

"We aren't fake." Fake Luffy muttered darkly.

But Sanji ignored him and nodded at Fake Robin, who smiled softly again and said, "On the day we came to get you…when Luffy said he wouldn't leave the island without you…"

Immediately, he was on the defensive again. "That was a dream."

"Assuming that it wasn't." She said firmly, obviously determined. "I was wondering what the queen said to you that made you so upset. I've never seen you attack a woman, before."

He snorted, choosing not to comment on her last statement. Instead, he closed his eyes and tried to dredge up his memories of the dream. When he remembered, his eyes snapped open and he gave the imitation Robin an icily furious glare. "Why do you want to know?"

"I'm curious."

"Did I sleep talk?"

"It wasn't a dream." She said.

"Does _she_ know what she said in my dream?" He pressed.

She hesitated, for some reason. "It wasn't a dream." She said again, slowly. "So naturally she would know what she said."

A snarl ripped itself out of his throat. "If she so much as _looks_ at Zoro, I'll kill her!" He said, just barely restraining himself from throwing himself at the doppelganger.

"_WHAT?_" He heard a few of the doubles exclaim, but he was too focused on the Robin to discern which ones had spoken.

"And you can tell her that from me! If she touches him she'd sure as hell better hope I'm dead first, because if there's a single breath left in my body, so help me God, it won't fucking matter what parts of me she's cut off because I'll fucking _kill her_."

The fake Robin held up a hand to quiet down everyone else since they were still (very loudly) freaking out. Her expression was completely blank, except for an odd, unreadable glint that he could see in her eyes.

"What did she say she was going to do to Zoro that made you so upset, Mr. Cook?" She asked.

He glared at her, hackles raised, for a very tense moment before deciding she had probably been telling the truth about the queen knowing (whether it had been a dream, like he suspected, or real, like he doubted)—meaning that it wouldn't make a difference if he told her.

"She said she would turn him into a pet." He spat out.

"What does that mean? A 'pet'?" The fake Zoro asked, looking obviously unhappy with the idea.

"Don't know what your queen does to her prisoners, huh?" Sanji taunted maliciously.

"She's _not_ my queen." Fake Zoro snapped.

The vehemence in his voice made Sanji stop momentarily. Either this guy was a _really_ good actor, or…

"Please tell us, Mr. Cook." Fake Robin said, drawing his attention back to the subject at hand.

He flinched involuntarily at the memory and looked away. "She did it to me, too." He began finally. "Made me a pet, I mean. And it's not so bad, at first. What man's gonna turn down free sex with a beautiful woman every day, right?"

"Perverted cook." Fake Zoro murmured, and Sanji couldn't help but smile weakly.

"I assume that 'at first' didn't last long?" Fake Robin asked, gently steering him back on track.

A weak shrug. "About a week, I guess. And then…and then…" He shook his head, and could feel himself trembling. He wrapped his arms around his torso to try and stop the shaking, but his arms just shook, too, so he slumped forward to hide his face from them, groaning, "I don't want to talk about this, anymore."

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, Sanji." Fake Nami said.

"Just tell her not to touch Zoro!" He said, voice cracking mid-sentence. He looked up so that he could glare at them again. "If she…if she needs a pet, you tell her to take _me_ instead! I'm…" He withdrew again. "I'm already dirty, so it doesn't matter. But Zoro's still clean."

"Don't lie, shit-cook. You're always calling me dirty." Fake Zoro scoffed. Again, Sanji looked at him. There was something very strange about this fake, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it (ignoring the fact that he _had_ no fingers, of course)…

"Mr. Cook?" Fake Robin sought his attention again. "Mr. Cook, what if she went after someone else, instead of Zoro?"

A dark chuckle rose from his stomach and leaked out of his mouth. "It doesn't matter who she goes after." He said, as if it should have been obvious. "She'll get Zoro first."

"Why do you say that, Curly Brow?" Fake Franky asked.

"Because he's _Zoro_." He said, as if that should explain everything. When the expressions on their faces told him that it apparently didn't, he elaborated. "I can tell _exactly_ what'll happen: First, someone'll do something stupid—probably Luffy because he's an idiot. Then the Queen'll have whoever it is arrested. Or she'll try. Zoro will decide to play the hero or whatever and fight, and if she doesn't just give up on her first target and arrest him instead, he'll _offer_ to let her take him in place of whoever was her first target. _Especially_ if they find out what happened to me."

"Why should that make any difference to him?" Fake Robin asked.

"'Cause he's got a fucking martyr complex or something." He shrugged his shoulders in an exasperated way. "He always does shit like that. Like he's…the crew's big brother, or some shit. And I mean…he hates me and all, but…that doesn't have anything to do with it. It's just the way he is, y'know? He'd have been the first one to stay if that bitch hadn't insisted on me."

"Are you…mad at him for not being the first one?" Fake Usopp asked.

"What?" He jerked back, surprised by the question. "No, no." He shook his head. "_No_. It's about damn time someone else in the crew did something for everyone. Especially after what he did on Thriller Bark…" He trailed off with another shake of his head. "But you wouldn't know what I'm talking about even if you _were_ the real you." He paused, taking a deep breath. "I don't…like him, or anything, but…I don't mind being the one to protect him, this time, instead of the other way around."

"Even if it means losing your hands?" Fake Zoro asked softly, a blank expression on his face.

He looked down at his…stumps. "I could've gone without losing my hands." Although he'd tried, he couldn't quite manage to make it a lighthearted statement. A lump formed in his throat, but he forced his voice past it. "If he can cut off his own legs—well, I mean, he didn't _actually_ cut off his legs, but he _would_ have if he'd had to—I can…I can probably…figure something out." Even as he said this, he leaned forward until his body was almost parallel with his legs. "Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. They're gonna be so pissed…they're gonna be so _pissed_…"

"Who is?" Fake Brook asked.

"My crew." He moaned. "And…and they have every right…shit, how could I be so weak that I let that bitch cut off my _hands_? I couldn't do _anything_…I couldn't…shit. Even if they take me back, they'll just…get sick of having to fucking take care of me. I _know_ they will. And I know it's all I deserve for being so _stupid_ and _weak_ and _useless_."

"Sanji, you aren't…" Fake Chopper began.

"Yes, I am!" He exploded. "Maybe you don't…no, no, you're not them…" He shook his head furiously. "Maybe _they_ won't think so at first, but they'll figure it out! And then they'll…they'll throw me overboard or something. Shit, I'm so fucking _pathetic_…!"

Fake Zoro (finally?) lost his temper, grabbing Sanji by the scruff of his neck and hauling him out of the bed. "We will, huh? Well then, might as damn well get it over with, while you're being an idiot and feeling sorry for yourself!"

"Zoro, no!" Fake Chopper exclaimed as the fake Zoro dragged him out of the infirmary and above deck (why were they were on a real ship?). "Take him back to the infirmary!"

"Maybe this'll snap out of it, you stupid love cook!" Fake Zoro said as he secured a tether around Sanji's waist, and then tossed him overboard without any further pomp and circumstance.

"Sanji overboard!" Fake Luffy screeched, and dived in after him.

"Luffy overboard, too!" Fake Usopp said even as fake Franky jumped in after the hastily sinking devil's fruit user.

Sanji, meanwhile, was spluttering and choking on salt water, so shocked that the doppelganger had _actually_ thrown him overboard that he suddenly realized with startling clarity that said doppelganger really _wasn't_ a doppelganger. And that, he realized, was what had been so 'wrong' about him—he wasn't a fake at all! He was _actually_ Zoro, this time!

And Zoro—oh, God, the _real_ Zoro!—was hauling him back up onto the ship while Robin created a ladder for Franky (with Luffy in tow) to climb up with a multitude of arms.

"You done bitching, now?" Zoro asked when Sanji was finally back on deck, Nami gingerly draping a towel over his shoulders while Chopper fussed over both Luffy and him (mostly him).

"You're real." He said, his voice shaking even more than he was (and considering the breeze that was blowing, he was shaking quite a bit). "You're all _real_."

"That's what we've been trying to tell you!" Nami said, crossing her arms over her chest huffily.

"Hurry and dry him off! Let's get him back to the infirmary before he catches a cold!" Chopper shot an angry look at Zoro that was only softened by the fact that the ruse _had_ actually managed to convince Sanji that they were the real them.

"No!" Sanji screeched when Zoro tried to grab him again, scrambling backwards until he hit the edge of the ship. "No! Shit, don't touch me! Don't _look_ at me! _Shit_!"

"This again." Zoro grumbled, otherwise ignoring Sanji's protests. He grabbed the practically hysterical chef and threw him over a shoulder, taking him back to the infirmary heedless of anything Sanji did to stop him.

Almost as soon as Sanji had been put back in the bed, Chopper apologetically stuck him with a sedative.

With the rather forlorn faces of his crew still in the forefront of his mind, Sanji drifted back into unconsciousness.

TBC…


	4. Smoking Hands

_**Irkalla Island**_

_**By**__: Ellipsis the Great_

_**DISCLAIMER:**__ One Piece and everything affiliated with it belongs to Eiichiro Oda Shonen Jump, etc. All I own is the plot…_

_**Summary: **__The Straw Hats are forced to leave their chef behind on an island after breaking an ancient artifact…when they return, they find that their chef may not be their chef, anymore…future ZoSan._

_**Rated: **__M._

_**Warnings: **__Angst, mentions of torture and non-con, slash (in the distant future). More warnings later if needed._

**Chapter Three**: Smoking Hands

He woke up suddenly, breath coming in sporadic bursts. Panicking as he realize he wasn't sure where he was, he pushed himself back in the bed, eyes darting all around the room until they came to rest on the person sitting beside him.

Zoro—the real Zoro? Or had all of yesterday been a dream? Was this another trick?—stared at him, completely blank-faced. And that, somehow or other, served to convince him that this _had_ to be the real Zoro. A fake Zoro would have started worrying over him incessantly, or gotten pissed at him and shaken him or even _slapped_ him, as if Zoro would ever slap an injured crewmate. Even if that crewmate was Sanji. And, well, they _had_ fought while one or the other of hem was injured before, but this was far different from the other times. And either way, Zoro had actually never laid a hand on Sanji.

"I'm real." Zoro spoke finally, seeming to have read his thoughts. "And I'll throw you overboard again if you argue."

And _that_ was what fully convinced him that this wasn't some fake. Only Zoro solved problems by throwing people overboard.

With a sigh that hitched in his throat a little, Sanji gave a weary, relieved nod. "I know."

"About damn time." Zoro muttered grumpily.

"You threw me off the ship." Sanji said.

"You said we should." Zoro replied. "And I was getting sick of you acting so…not like you. It was annoying, and I _will_ throw you over again if you start back up, so don't push me."

Sanji pursed his lips together, although he wasn't sure if he was doing it due to disapproval of what Zoro was saying, or to keep himself from doing exactly what Zoro was warning against.

Zoro eyed him for a long moment, then reached down, picked something up off of the ground, and offered it to Sanji. It was a pack of cigarettes.

"You want one?" Zoro asked. "We found 'em in the kitchen one day and saved 'em…and I don't figure that woman let you smoke…"

Sanji blanched and shook his head frantically. "No. I don't…I don't smoke anymore. Get those things away from me!"

Zoro jerked back, blinking. "Don't _what_? You're a friggin' _chain smoker_, dart-brow. I may not know much about that shit, but you don't just _quit_."

He looked away from the other man, a blush coloring his cheeks. "She…after a while, whenever she caught me craving a cigarette, she'd…light one and make me smoke it—well, sometimes she didn't have to make me—and then she'd shove it into my mouth and make me eat it. That shit's really nasty to eat, so I usually gagged, and it was still lit so it burned the inside of my mouth more often than not, too."

"Fuck." Zoro cursed under his breath, almost too soft for Sanji to hear. He withdrew his hand for a moment, uncertain of how to respond or proceed.

Sanji, for his part, was staring at the cigarettes. It had only been five months, after all, and he was still jittery from the withdrawals, and _God_ a nice, cool cigarette between his lips would help calm him down like nothing else…

Zoro seemed to notice where Sanji's eyes were, and pursed his lips. "D'you…want one anyway? I'll try to hold it steady for you, since…" He trailed off uncomfortably.

Sanji grimaced, torn between the addiction that _still_ hadn't completely gone away, in spite of everything, and the lingering fear of what might happen. But this was _Zoro_, and they might have always gotten along like cats and dogs but Zoro was anything but cruel.

"I'll stop if you freak out." Zoro said, tapping the pack like he'd seen Sanji do a thousand times before pulling out one of the cigarettes and waving it rather enticingly.

Sanji's eyes followed the cigarette of their own accord, and Zoro smirked, putting it to Sanji's lips until finally Sanji opened his mouth and grabbed it. Pulling a lighter out of nowhere and flicking it on with the fumbling uncertainty of someone who didn't know what he was doing, Zoro lit the cigarette.

"Shit." Sanji sighed, sucking in a deep breath of tobacco and holding it for just a moment before he blew it out of his nose in a thick puff of smoke.

"Chopper's gonna be pissed—he'd have been excited to know you stopped smoking." Zoro commented, watching him with an unreadable expression on his face. "Although considering the reason behind why…maybe not so excited."

He managed a weak laugh, and then they settled into a long, surprisingly comfortable silence that was only broken by the sound of him inhaling and exhaling the best cigarette he'd ever smoked.

"You really think she'd have…made me into one of those pet things?" Zoro asked, lip curling up a bit into a disgusted sneer as he took the cigarette away and let him blow out the smoke.

"She said she would." He replied, shaking his head when Zoro tried to give him the cigarette (which was all but finished) again. "She…could have just been fucking with me. I dunno."

Zoro grunted, eyeing him and stubbing the cigarette out on a bedpan. He seemed to be thinking of what to say next, and finally came out with, "Would you really have killed her for it?"

He pursed his lips together, but nodded. "Yeah."

"Even though she's a woman?" Zoro asked uncertainly.

"…Yeah."

"Even though…it's me?"

His head snapped up. "Even though…of course! You're my crewmate, aren't you? We might not get along well…and fuck if that isn't the understatement of the year…but we're still nakama. We're still friends, sort of." He smiled weakly. "Friends who try to cut each other in half or kick each other's heads in on a daily basis, but…y'know…_friends_."

Zoro's answering smile was grim, but visible. Then the door opened, cutting off whatever the green-haired man had planned to say.

"Oh! Sanji's awake!" Chopper said delightedly. But his smile quickly dropped, replaced by an apprehensive expression. "D'you…know who we are?"

"Chopper? Best doctor on the Grand Line?" Sanji asked.

"Your compliments don't make me happy, asshole!" Chopper said, scowling even as he blushed and did a little dance of joy. Then, calming down a bit, he looked at Zoro. "You can go to lunch now, Zoro."

Zoro nodded, waving the cigarettes at Sanji in a way that Sanji took to mean that the surly man would help him smoke again later. Then he turned, stuffed his hands (and the cigarettes) into his pockets, and left without saying anything.

"How do you feel, Sanji?" Chopper asked.

"Like shit." Sanji replied promptly.

Chopper tried to smile, but couldn't quite manage it, eyes drifting to the bandages that marked the place where Sanji's arms now ended. "I'm sorry, Sanji. If we had gotten there sooner…"

"Don't, Chopper." He said. "Just…don't. Please."

Chopper nodded slowly, then scuttled over to his desk and grabbed the large box sitting there, slipping into his 'professional doctor-mode' when he next spoke. "You've been asleep for nearly two weeks since we took you from the island. You were hysterical almost anytime you were awake, so I had to keep you sedated. Yesterday was the first day you became lucid enough to actually talk to us, and finally realized that we're your real crew." He grimaced at the memory, and Sanji mirrored the expression, but neither commented on it. "You were hooked up to a catheter and a feeding tube up until yesterday, but I took them out—luckily _before_ you woke up and Zoro threw you overboard."

Sanji nodded slowly, only half understanding what Chopper was saying but getting enough of an idea that he didn't want to ask any questions about it. Instead, he asked, "What's in the box?"

Chopper chewed on his bottom lip hesitantly, then carefully set the box on the chair Zoro had been using and opened it—it contained a pair of pristine hands that sent a shiver up Sanji's spine at how…familiar they looked.

"Franky and Usopp have been working on them since you came back." Chopper explained, his voice soft with trepidation. "I'll have to…to remove some more of your arms in order to install them, but Franky says you'll hardly notice they're fake once they've connected and healed."

Sanji figured that that was probably a lie to make him feel better, but decided not to call Chopper (or Franky) on it. "When…"

Chopper gave him a stern look. "I want to get you back up to a normal weight before we do any sort of surgery on you." Chopper said with the no-nonsense tone of someone who had had to argue over this with someone more than once before this. "And…and make sure that you can handle it mentally as well as physically."

"What do you mean?" Sanji frowned.

"You've been unstable since you got back in just about every sense of the word." Chopper said, hurrying to add, "You have every right to be, of course! But I want to make sure this won't…do anything to upset you."

"You think giving me hands will _upset_ me?" He asked, his voice breaking mid-sentence and rising an octave.

This time, Chopper's look was dry; like Sanji had just proven him right. But when he spoke, he was obviously choosing his words very carefully. "I think you're very tired and in a weakened, vulnerable state right now—physically _and_ mentally—and I don't want to do anything to exasperate you and hinder the healing process."

He wanted to argue some more, but suddenly he wasn't sure what exactly they were arguing about and what good arguing would have done, anyway. And he _was_ tired, so there was no point in arguing over _that_, at least. "When do you think you can do it?"

"It'll probably take about three weeks to get you up to an acceptable weight." Chopper said. "After that, I should be able to better ascertain your mental condition, but hopefully you'll have calmed down enough that we will be able to operate then."

"Three weeks?" His voice shook. He closed his eyes and tried to remember what three weeks felt like; time had gotten so distorted, back in his dungeon cell… "Chopper…?"

"Yes?" Chopper looked at him concernedly.

"…How long…was I on the island?" He kept his eyes closed, not daring to meet Chopper's gaze even though he could feel the doctor's eyes on him.

"Five months." Chopper answered after a moment's pause. "We didn't have much of a problem getting to the island and finding the artifact…it only took us a month or so…but the Eternal Pose that…that _woman_ gave us to get back with…didn't bring us to this island. It's only thanks to Nami that we were able to find it again, or…or we might never have…"

"I see." Sanji murmured.

"I'm so sorry, Sanji!" Chopper burst into tears, sobbing into his hooves. Sanji's eyes snapped open to look at the tiny doctor, widening at the sight of him. "It took us…so long to get back, and…and you…lost your _hands_…!"

"No…Chopper…" He reached forward—to grab his young crewmate and pull him into a hug, to pat his head, to do _something_ that he quickly realized required _hands_, whatever it was. He let out a frustrated cry, then yelled, "Somebody! Get in here!"

Chopper kept crying, apparently unaware of the stress he was causing his patient, and Sanji kept yelling until Robin came into the room.

"He's crying." Sanji said rather plaintively, arms waving around willy-nilly. "I can't…Miss Robin, I _can't_…"

"It's alright, Mr. Cook." She said, seeming to immediately understand the cause of his ire. She turned to Chopper, petting his head soothingly and fetching a tissue. "You shouldn't get so worked up, Mr. Doctor—you'll upset your patient."

"Oh, no!" Chopper exclaimed, aghast. "I'm sorry, Sanji, I didn't think—!"

He shook his head. "No, don't…I…no." He blinked his eyes furiously, squinting to try and keep them open. "I'm tired…"

"Then go to sleep, Mr. Cook." Robin said. "Mr. Doctor and I will leave you alone, then, alright?"

He nodded, yawning.

"Come on, Chopper." Robin said, gently shepherding the ship's doctor towards the door. "I think you could use a nice big mug of hot cocoa to calm yourself down, hm?"

Chopper nodded miserably, looking back at Sanji with wide, innocent eyes that made Sanji flinch in spite of himself. He looked like he wanted to say something, but instead he just shook his head and let Robin lead him out.

Robin, for her part, merely smiled at Sanji and gave him a short nod before closing the door behind them.

Back in the bed, Sanji shuddered and leaned forward, breathing a little heavy. He wasn't quite sure why, but once Chopper and, in turn, Sanji had calmed down, the room had suddenly become oppressive and cold all at the same time. But now that Chopper and Robin were gone, it was back to normal. He frowned, but decided that sleep would (hopefully) help him figure it out.

It would do _something_, at least, so he maneuvered himself back into the blankets—whatever Chopper said, he wouldn't be anything but grateful to have his hands back even if it turned out he still couldn't cook—and closed his eyes.

But after what felt like hours of tossing and turning, he was even more exhausted than he had been before and not a blink closer to being asleep.

Growling, he tried to work out why, and finally settled on an answer that made him distinctly uncomfortable. But since nothing else had worked…

He slipped out of the bed, nearly collapsing on his wobbly, practically useless legs, and carefully lowered himself to the floor. Then he slid himself over to the metal cabinet a few feet away from his bed and leaned against it, bringing his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. He let out a deep, content sigh that startled him when he realized that sitting like this was more comfortable to him than laying in the bed had been.

But he shrugged it off, because at least this way he could get some sleep. Just before he drifted off, he wondered if next time he could get Chopper to leave the sink running…so that the dripping noise would help lull him to sleep…

TBC…

_A/N: Poor Sanji…he can't sleep in a bed anymore…T^T But, well…I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!_

_Just a quick heads up: as you guys know, I try to update on Wednesdays, but I could possibly be late next week. As some of you know, I've been studying abroad in Japan for the past semester, and I'm leaving for home on Friday. And as I don't think any of you know, my family started moving to another house recently, so I'm going to be jetlagged and busy as nothing else when I get home. I'll try my hardest to get the next chapter up on time, but if I don't…this is why. Sorry!_

_Love you guys! See ya next!_

_-EtheG _


	5. Physiological Responses

_**Irkalla Island**_

_**By**__: Ellipsis the Great_

_**DISCLAIMER:**__ One Piece and everything affiliated with it belongs to Eiichiro Oda Shonen Jump, etc. All I own is the plot…_

_**Summary: **__The Straw Hats are forced to leave their chef behind on an island after breaking an ancient artifact…when they return, they find that their chef may not be their chef, anymore…future ZoSan._

_**Rated: **__M._

_**Warnings: **__Angst, mentions of torture and non-con, slash (in the distant future). More warnings later if needed._

**Chapter Four:** Physiological Responses

"Sanji? Sanji?"

His eyes opened blearily, but quickly zeroed in on Chopper's feet, which he could see were on the other side of the bed from where he was sitting. And Chopper, bless his heart, was too short to see over the bed.

"'M over here." He said, straightening himself.

"Did you fall out of bed?" Chopper asked as he hurried over to Sanji's side. "Are you okay? Are you hurt? What happened?"

"I…couldn't sleep in the bed." Sanji admitted with a smile that was more like a grimace.

Chopper's eyes softened, his mouth opening like he wanted to say something or cry, but he closed it again—sucked his bottom lip in so that Sanji wouldn't see it trembling—and nodded. Then he grabbed a Rumble Ball and ate it, going into strong point. "Well, here. Let's get you back in the bed so I can check everything."

"Nonono, Chopper, don't, don't, don't touch me!" He said, trying to scramble back only to find that he was already as far in the corner as he could get.

"Sanji, you're too weak to get yourself back in the bed, and I have to examine you." Chopper spoke slowly, like he was trying to reason with a cornered animal.

"_No_." Sanji groaned, even as Chopper scooped him up. "Chopper you can't touch me, you can't, I'm _dirty_…"

"You are not!" Chopper said. "I've been giving you sponge baths. And Zoro threw you into the ocean yesterday, and even though saltwater isn't exactly the cleanest—"

"That's not what I mean." He said, frustrated. "I'm dirty, Chopper, I'm _dirty_, and I can still feel her touching me, and you're too clean to touch me, dammit, I—"

"Sanji!" Chopper cut him off, setting him on the bed gently. "I've been touching you since we got you off of that island—fixing your wounds, changing your bandages, and bathing you. Am I dirty?"

"No. No, Chopper, you're _clean_, and…"

"And touching you a little more won't hurt me." Chopper said firmly, patting his head with a gentleness that seemed rather unnatural when he was in this form. "I know you feel dirty right now, Sanji—of course you must, after all of the things that terrible woman did to you—but you aren't. None of the things that happened to you are your fault, okay? You aren't _dirty_. You're hurt, and maybe a little broken, but you aren't dirty."

He shook his head; how could he get Chopper to _understand_?

"Chopper…" He squeezed his eyes shut, cheeks burning with shame. "Chopper, I _am_ dirty, because…because when she…Chopper, I always…she always made sure that I…"

"Ejaculated?" Chopper offered quietly.

He gulped and nodded, not daring to open his eyes.

"I figured as much." Chopper said, his voice still so quiet Sanji had to strain to hear it.

The words made him shiver. Oh, God, Chopper _knew_ how dirty he was. Had _guessed_, even!

"Sanji…I've been doing some reading over the past week." Chopper said, growing more confident in his speech as he began talking with his 'doctor voice'. "About other men in…similar situations. And I think you need to know that just because you became physically aroused and ejaculated, doesn't mean that what happened was something you were a willing party in, and it doesn't mean that you weren't raped. Arousal and ejaculation are physiological responses to being stimulated, not something that you _decide_ will happen."

"But I—"

"Sanji, _I_ could stimulate your penis or prostrate right now and get you to ejaculate. So could anyone else. Does that mean you want to have sex with me? With _Luffy_?"

"Of course not!" He balked at the very thought of it.

"Exactly. Arousal is _not_ a conscious decision, and whatever she told you or did to you, you _have_ to understand that what she did to you was wrong and against your will. It…it was _rape_."

"I had sex with her willingly, though. At first, I—"

"_At first_, Sanji. _At first_ you had sex with her willingly. The moment you said that you no longer wanted to engage in sexual intercourse with her, it stopped being a willing sexual encounter and became rape." Chopper sighed and put a gentle, hesitant hand on Sanji's arm. "Sanji, people in actual relationships get raped by their spouses. They had sex willingly, at one point in time, just like you did. But if a man holds a woman down and forces himself on her, it's still rape, regardless of their previous sexual encounters. The same holds true for a woman who forces herself on a man, or a man who forces himself on another man, or a woman who forces herself on another woman. If you said no, and didn't want to have sex, then you were not a willing participant in what happened." The little reindeer-turned-doctor paused for a moment. "Do you understand, Sanji?"

"I guess." He sighed, more because (to be quite honest) he was too tired to argue than because he actually understood. Looking away so that Chopper wouldn't see the skeptical expression that still dominated his features, he said, "Who's cooking? You told Zoro to go eat, right?"

"Mhm." Chopper said. "We were taking turns for a while, but Usopp, Robin, and Franky have been doing all of the cooking lately. Nami charges, Luffy…is Luffy, Zoro refuses to do anything but barbecue, Brook somehow managed to cook Nami's panties into a loaf of bread, and I won't make anything with meat, so Luffy won't let me cook anymore."

He laughed a little. "Captain needs his meat."

Chopper smiled and nodded. "Yeah. Are you hungry?"

"Can I go eat with everyone else?" He asked. "Please? I haven't…I mean, it's been five months. And I can't stay in this room for three weeks, Chopper, I just can't."

"I don't know…" Chopper bit his lip. "I don't think it's a good idea."

"Just for dinner." He said. "Chopper, please. I want to be with everyone else again."

"I think it would be better for them to come down here." Chopper said.

"This room is so similar to ones back…back there…I keep half-thinking it's a dream or a cruel joke or something." His voice dropped into a borderline desperate whisper. "Please?"

Chopper sighed. "Alright, alright…but I'm carrying you up there _and _back here once you've finished eating. And…" He paused. "Since you have…issues with touching people…what will make you the most comfortable?"

Sanji flinched at the reminder and leaned back, trying to imagine the dining room. God, had it really been five months since he was last in the Thousand Sunny's dining room? "You and Zoro have to sit on either side of me. You've both…you've both touched me already, so…so I think it'll be okay. Otherwise…I don't think it'll matter."

"If someone needs to move to make you more comfortable, you'll tell me." Chopper said, sticking him with a firm look that made him nod his head. "_Immediately_, got that?"

He started to nod.

"Because the _second_ you start to look uncomfortable and don't say anything, you'll be back down here before you've even realized I moved you. And I _will_ be able to tell if you try to fake it, so don't."

Shoulders slumping a little, he nodded. "You've got it, Chopper."

Chopper glared at him for a moment longer, then nodded to himself, seeming satisfied. Since he hadn't changed out of strong point, yet, he grabbed Sanji's IV and put it in his mouth, scooping Sanji up like he weighed nothing (well, at this point he practically _did_ weigh nothing). Chopper paused when Sanji stiffened in his arms, but the headstrong chef relaxed a moment later and nodded. Though he was still a bit dubious about the endeavor, he carried Sanji upstairs.

(YOURPAGEBREAKSDON'TMAKEMEHAPPY,ASSHOLE!)

"SANJI!" Luffy practically screamed when they entered the dining room, everyone standing with expressions varying from shocked to relieved to enthusiastically happy.

"Luffy." Sanji said with a forced smile that he couldn't hold for long. "I, um…I thought I'd try eating with you guys."

"You're acting like you need permission, Curly Brow!" Franky laughed, stepping forward like he wanted to touch Sanji, who tensed up.

Chopper moved himself so that Franky got the idea not to touch Sanji, and carefully put the IV down. "No one is going to touch Sanji. He's very uncomfortable with it right now, but he wants to eat dinner with everyone."

"Of…of course." Franky said, shrinking back a little with a wounded expression on his face.

"You can sit beside me, Sanji." Nami offered with a smile. "I won't touch you, I promise."

"Sanji wants to sit between Zoro and I." Chopper interrupted before Sanji could reply.

"What? Why?" Luffy asked, cheeks puffing out. "You guys got to see him all day! I wanna sit next to Sanji!"

"That's what Sanji said would make him the most comfortable." Chopper said.

"He hates Zoro!" Luffy argued.

"Well, for whatever reason, he thinks that sitting next to Zoro won't upset him." Chopper said. "And if he gets upset, I'm going to take him back to the infirmary. So for now we're going to let him sit in between Zoro and I, and we'll see what happens from there."

Silence fell for a moment.

"I'm sorry, Luffy." Sanji rasped out. "This was a bad idea. Chopper—"

"Nonononono!" Luffy said. "You can sit where you want to, but you gotta eat dinner with us, Sanji! You haven't eaten with us in _ages_!"

A strained silence as everyone was reminded of why Sanji hadn't eaten with them in so long.

"Here." Zoro said, plopping down into a seat and indicating the one next to him. "Sit down before Chopper changes his mind, Dart Brow."

Chopper let out a huffy sniff and gently set Sanji into the proffered seat.

"I've been researching healthy foods that are easiest for emaciated people to eat, Mr. Cook." Robin said as she set a bowl of soup down in front of him. "I hope you enjoy it."

"I'm sure I'll enjoy anything you made, Ms. Robin." Sanji said, wishing that he could summon up the strength and will to add in some of his usual flowery prose. All he could manage was a smile that felt (and probably looked) more like a grimace.

Robin returned the smile as she went to her seat between Nami and Franky. "I was actually just about to take it down for you and offer to relieve Mr. Doctor for a while." She said.

"Thanks." Sanji said.

Everyone was quiet for a while, obviously waiting on Sanji to try the soup. Sanji, for his part, just stared at the bowl as though it were about to reach up and bite him. It seemed to dawn on the other members of the crew all at once why he wasn't eating, but not even Chopper felt brave enough to say anything about it.

"Here." Zoro said finally, picking up a spoon. He practically stabbed it into the soup, but brought it back up slowly, leaning forward to blow on it gently before taking it to Sanji's lips. "We're stupid, y'know, so you have to tell us when you need help, idiot."

Sanji felt his cheeks heat up, refusing to meet anyone's eyes as he opened his mouth and ate. He had expected everyone to relax once the first bite had been taken, but they just kept staring at him. So, with a much more believable smile, he said, "It's good. Chicken?"

"Turkey." Robin said.

"Oh." He said, looking down at it again.

"I'm sorry…you don't like turkey?" She asked, biting her lip.

"She does." He heard himself blurt out, even though he really hadn't wanted to; he didn't ever want to talk about that woman again. Especially not after Robin had been so nice as to cook for him. And it really was good soup. "She had her own flock of them, and every other day she'd have one trussed up for dinner. Her chefs had more recipes for turkey than I do for fish, and, shit, why am I still talking about this? Chopper I think I'm gonna be sick. I think I—" And then he turned around and vomited up what little he had eaten, which was quickly followed by whatever Chopper had pumped into his stomach while he was sleeping, and when that was gone he just dry-heaved until his body finally didn't have the energy to do even that, anymore.

He flinched a little as Chopper (who had finally gone out of strong point) put a hand on his back. "Come on, Sanji. Let's go back to the infirmary. You can tell me what other foods you think you can't—"

"No." Sanji said as he forced himself to sit back up again and dragged his arm across his mouth to clean it as best as he could. "I'm not letting her ruin an entire fucking poultry for me." Then, screwing his jaw up determinedly, he put his arms to either side of the bowl, picked it up, and—ignoring the way his arms and mouth burned—gulped down the entire contents of the bowl in a way reminiscent of Luffy at breakfast. When he had finished he dropped it and went for the glass of water sitting next to his plate, but it had perspired too much for his arms to get any sort of grip on it.

"Stubborn ass." He heard Zoro mutter beside him, then the green-haired swordsman grabbed the glass for him and held it to his lips with surprising patience until he pulled away.

"Thanks." He tried to say, but had to squeeze his mouth and eyes shut and will himself not to throw up again. When finally the danger seemed to have passed, he looked up at Robin with as genuine a smile as he could possibly manage. "It was perfect, Miss Robin. Thank you very much for taking the time to make it for me."

The brilliant smile she bestowed on him was completely worth the throwing up. "You are quite welcome, Mr. Cook."

He was vaguely aware of Franky in the background getting rid of the vomit, but decided it was probably best for everyone that he didn't comment on that. "What…I mean, what all did you guys get up to while…while you were gone?"

It took a moment, but everyone else started smiling, too.

Maybe…just maybe…things were starting to look up.

TBC…

_A/N: I'm so sorry I've been gone for so long, you guys! I kind of lost my inspiration for this story for a while…and I still don't know where I'm going with it, which is never good. I don't know when I'll have time/inspiration to get the next chapter up, but we'll see what happens!_

_Comments, suggestions, and critiques are welcome! 8D_

_I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter!_

_Love you guys! See ya next!_

_-EtheG_


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